What is Stonewalling?

Stonewalling is a communication style in which one party in a conversation refuses to engage in discussion. The stonewalling person avoids responding directly to questions, often using a wall of silence, distraction, or diverting the subject. Stonewalling is used as a way to shut down a conversation. It is an avoidant behavior that occurs in both personal and professional relationships. Stonewalling is considered a form of psychological abuse and a tactic used by those with controlling or manipulative tendencies.

Stonewalling Can Lead to Conflict

When one person stonewalls the other in a conversation, it can lead to increased tension and frustration. The other person may experience feelings of being devalued, misunderstood, ignored, and disrespected. This often leads to arguments as the non-stonewalling person will attempt to get a response out of the stonewalling person. Stonewalling prevents healthy communication and resolution to problems, as it stops any meaningful discussion from taking place.

How to Deal with Stonewalling

If you are the one being stonewalled it is important to take a step back and avoid any further arguments. It can be difficult to take the high road, but it’s important to remember that the other person’s stonewalling is something that is out of your control. After taking a moment to regain composure, it is best to be as direct and honest as possible when talking to the other person. If the stonewalling persists, it may be necessary to take a break from the conversation until the emotions have cooled down.

Stonewalling is a passive but damaging communication style that can have long-term implications in relationships. It’s important to recognize it and be aware of the impact it can have. If you’re in a conversation where stonewalling is taking place, it is important to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy communication styles. Taking a step back, being direct and honest, and allowing space for both parties to cool down are all strategies that can help limit the damage of stonewalling.